This is a list of struggles that Mum’s face in everyday life. These are all things that did not bother me pre baby. In fact, I never realised it was possible to hate these things so much.
- People that mow their lawns. It doesn’t matter if it is even at an appropriate lawn mowing time. It always seems to coincide with while I am trying to put the baby to sleep. I am very close to knocking on my back neighbours door and asking, how often do you REALLY need to mow your precious lawn dude???
- How tiny the Netflix remote is. They should make Netflix remote tracking devices you can wear around your neck.
- Cafes with stairs out the front. Trying to get a pram into a cafe that has stairs is now a personal challenge I face in day to day life. I actively avoid cafes with stairs and opt for ones either without stairs or those miracle places that have walk up windows.
- Dogs that bark. Stop barking! What are you barking at! You will wake the baby! I am not that interesting and I do not want to come on your property!
- People without kids who complain that they are tired. You don’t know what tired is. Just go away.
- Teenage baristas. Coffee is everything to me. Is it so much to ask that it is made by someone over the age of nineteen who actually drinks coffee and understands it values??
- The words hand, foot and mouth. I never even knew this virus existed in modern times. I thought it was like the plague and was eradicated. But these three words will send chills down the spine of any parent that hears them.
- Rain. When it rains for days on end and you have a toddler, you know what hell feels like.
- Shops that don’t open until 8am and cafes that don’t open until 7am. I get up at 5am nearly every day. Don’t they know how much business they miss out on from parents all across Australia? I want breakfast, coffee and groceries at 6am like any civilised mother.
- Off the shoulder tops. Or any top where I cannot wear my completely ugly but functional maternity bra. Last season was full of these cutesy little off the shoulder tops. I could not wear any.
- Delivery men that bang on your door. Oh my god, I am ignoring you for a reason! Leave the package and go away! Once again, you are waking up the baby!
- Magpies. Devils of the sky. Propellers of evil that swoop you at any unsuspecting moment. My mum mates and I have an ongoing commentary of the ‘local’ magpies and where to avoid them. Quite sad really.
- Unfenced playgrounds. Seriously, if I wanted to spend the last hour chasing my toddler back into the play area, I would have just stayed at home. Also, why are the slides always so steep?? This isn’t an amusement park people.
I need to follow this up with a list of things I now love as a Mum but I am too annoyed right now from writing this list. What do you hate now that you are a parent? I would love to hear!
It’s not all doom and gloom though, being a mother is incredible. For an uplifting ode to my son, check out My Son: Words to Remember when Judging your Body
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