There is nothing quite like that feeling of complete calm that washes over you after you strap your screaming child into their carseat and close their door. It is like turning the sound off a raging stereo. Or exiting a nightclub in your thirties. You do that slow walk around the car in blissful silence to the front door. You take a moment to close your eyes and breath in, take in the fresh air and feel the wind in your mum bun. It is so quiet and peaceful. Until you muster up the courage to open that door and be once again engulfed in noise.
That, my friends, is a Mummy Moment.
Those fleeting moments in time where you get a few minutes, even seconds, to yourself to get centred and experience a certain joy not associated with motherhood. The pure bliss of a Mummy Moment is hard to understand if you are yourself not a Mummy. Do not let your husband/partner/friend compare their moments to yours. Their moments stretch to hours. Or even days. It is not a fair comparison. If they tell you otherwise, they are assholes.
I want to be clear on the definition of a Mummy Moment. To do this, I must tell you what it is definitely not. A Mummy Moment does not include the time when your child is asleep. Period.
Despite what non-Mummy’s may think, this time is not spent kicking back in your robe sipping on lattes. This time is critical and time sensitive and spent doing all those things that are vital to the wellbeing of your home, your family or yourself. I don’t class a Mummy Moment as unloading a dishwasher, choking down a sandwich or squeezing in some work. Just because your child is asleep does not mean you are not doing Mummy things. Do you understand?
The time spent when your child is asleep is also a very tense time. Will your child wake after ten minutes? Will they sleep for three hours? You simply DO NOT KNOW. So therefore it is neither peaceful or relaxing. It can be about as peaceful as a pap smear.
So if I have made myself clear on what a Mummy Moment is not, I will now attempt to expand on what a Mummy Moment is.
A Mummy Moment is a blissful moment in time where you truly step away from being Mummy, either accidentally or incidentally. Because it is unexpected, it is truly joyful. Because it is fleeting, it is precious. You do not have to physically step away from your child for it to be a Mummy Moment either. It can just be a break in your mind. In your soul. Am I being overdramatic? Maybe. But as the mother of a toddler with more energy than ten excitable labrador puppies, I don’t really care.
Some of my favourite mummy moments include:
- Closing the door to the bathroom to pee and having it remained closed for the entirety of the time
- Taking those first sips of a hot takeaway coffee while your child is distracted and before it inevitably goes cold
- Taking those first sips of a glass of wine on a Tuesday night because fuck it, you deserve it
- Washing the shampoo out of your hair because your eyes are closed and it feels so good
- Putting on a bra that is both clean and does not come with breastfeeding straps
- When the postman drops a parcel on your doorstep with your latest online purchase
and you tear into the wrapping
- Biting into a contraband item such as the white chocolate that nobody knows about but you, because you hid it in the saucepan in the cupboard
- Walking outside at night time to take out the rubbish, and noticing that wow nighttime is really nice, you forgot there are stars and people who go out at night.
- Having a 90’s throwback R&B song come on your radio and busting a move circa your high school days.
These are all Mummy Moments. They are what gets me through my day.
So the next time you experience this pure joy of either a peaceful or non child related moment, you can tell your Mummy friends, hey I had a really great Mummy Moment today. Just be careful how you word it. If you say that you experienced a completely alone moment of pure ecstasy, they may get the wrong idea. But if you word it right, you and your friend can fist bump each other in unity. Before your child once again starts pulling on your leg whining for some milk or up up up.
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P.S. If you enjoyed reading this article you may also like to read An Open Letter to my Mum Friends