Online Mum Groups can be a wonderful way to connect with other Mums. You can ask for advice, seek out friendships and look for other experiences and perspectives on Motherhood. Most Mums are lovely, helpful, non judgemental and just plain awesome.
But not all.
There is a small portion of Mums in these online groups that can be a pain in the arse. That can make you roll your eyes with their comments and say to yourself “Really Tiffany from Lawnton, was that really necessary”.
Here are the five different types of Mums you can find on social media.
How many have you encountered?
The Smug Mum
The Smug Mum loves to brag about their child and their many achievements. And not in a proud way. In an obnoxious way. In a way that makes you feel inadequate. According to them, their child could speak three languages by two, have mastered the art of complex lego building at four, and will go on to be the next leader of the free world.
Meanwhile their kids are probably just normal. No pressure little Milly.
I recently saw a post on social media from a desperate Mum looking for advice on ways they could encourage their toddler to eat more vegetables. A Smug Mum response was this:
“My child has always eaten vegetables because I fed them to her from the start. We have never had an issue and she eats her seven recommended servings per day”.
Really bitch. Was that necessary? I mean good for you, you have the holy grail of children. But keep that shit to yourself. That is not a helpful response in the least. You Smug Mum you.
The Self Promoting Mum
Diet pills. Essential oils. Work from home and earn huge dollars. These Mums will try to make you buy what they are selling no matter what you post about. They are the ones that send you a direct message to your inbox promising to cure you and/or your children or make you a six figure earner in your pyjamas.
I am all for Mums hustling to keep a steady work life balance. I do freelance writing work after all. But essential oils should not be recommended in place of medical treatment. And most (not all), promises to earn huge incomes from home are a big scam. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. There is a time and a place for selling your products. And it shouldn’t be to vulnerable sleep deprived Mums in Mum groups.
The Judgemental Mum
This is probably the worst Mum of all. The Judgemental Mum. The Judgemental Mum does not keep her unkind thoughts to herself. She will kick you when you are down and give you her opinion whether you asked to hear it or not.
A Judgemental Mum recently commented on a Mum’s post, who was asking for advice on what type of formula to give her windy newborn.
“You should not be giving your baby formula at all. You should be giving him breast milk. Then you will not have any problems with gas. I have breastfed all of my children and never had an issue”.
Judgemental much!? The poor Mum who posted this was not asking if she should be giving her child formula. She was asking for what type of formula other Mums have given their windy baby.
You can think what you want about other parents and the way they parent. But the moment you give your unsolicited negative opinions a voice, you become a Judgemental Mum. In short, you become an asshole.
The “Shit don’t listen to her!” Mum
I believe that everyone has the right to raise their child the way they choose. Within reason. I am by no means one of the aforementioned judgemental Mums. But I react very strongly when I see other Mums give bad and/or dangerous advice in online Mum groups.
When the advice goes directly against SIDS guidelines, medical advice and just plain common sense, it is so scary. Because what if the Mum asking for the advice actually takes it and then something happens to their child?
Recently I saw a post on a very popular Mums group from a first time Mum asking how to stop their four month old baby from rolling in their sleep. The poor thing was exhausted and desperate. Most Mums were very wise, and said basically to unswaddle them, always lay them on their back, have nothing loose in their bed and roll them back gently to their back when they roll. It is something nearly all babies go through and, yes it is exhausting. But it is what babies do. They learn to roll.
But some Mums started recommending sleep wedges and rolled up towels to stop baby rolling. This is advice that goes directly against what SIDS guidelines advise. Because it can cause the baby to suffocate. That is a “Shit don’t listen to her!” moment if I ever saw one.
All the Rest of the Helpful and Lovely Mums
This is most of us. Just a bunch of helpful and lovely Mums, looking to connect with others and get through this whole motherhood gig together. Luckily we make up the vast majority!
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