It is the thought echoed around the globe.
Mothers from every culture, ethnicity and socio economic group have at one point in their lives thought it.
Mothers from every age bracket, country and no matter the journey it took them to become a Mother have thought it.
It is a thought that is not always said out loud. Guilt can often grip us as we feel ashamed of this thought.
It has at times been whispered furtively to a close friend with nobody else in proximity. Met with an understanding nod.
By some it has been stated matter of factly on a public platform, without fear of derision or judgement. These are the Mothers who have come to terms with this thought.
Because in each way we are so very different, this common thought links us all and unites us in Motherhood.
My kid can be SUCH an ASSHOLE sometimes.
Because they can be. Sometimes. Such assholes.
Whether the kid in question is three, eight, thirteen or twenty, all kids can at one point in their lives, probably many points in their lives, behave like an asshole.
When your three year old hits you and tells you they don’t love you because you gave them the green cup when they asked for the green cup but now they want red. Asshole.
When your eight year old screams at the top of their lungs in public that you are a terrible Mother because you wouldn’t let them go to the movies on their own. Asshole.
When your thirteen year old insults and ignores you, treats you with indifference and tells their friends you are ‘embarrassing’. Asshole.
When your twenty year old, who still lives with you but doesn’t lift a finger to help around the house, and expects you to still do everything for them without so much as a thank you. Asshole.
Having this thought does not mean you do not love your kid. It does not mean you are a ‘bad’ mother. It means you are human. With human emotions. And it also means your kid is human.
Because at the end of the day, we can all be an asshole at some point. The quicker we embrace this, and stop trying to strive for perfection either for ourselves or for our kids, the better.
And Mums, as long as you don’t actually tell your kid to their face that they are an asshole, (except maybe if they are twenty and still displaying asshole behaviour), then go ahead and have this thought.
Be free of guilt and share this thought with your close friends. Compare asshole behaviour. Complain to your husband or partner. Try to come up with who copped it worse that day and make it a competition.
And above all, understand that if someone says that their kid has never been an asshole, they are either lying to you or lying to themselves. Or their kid is still a baby. They are still one of us. United in motherhood. Perfectly imperfect Mothers just loving their little assholes no matter what.
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P.S. If you have enjoyed reading this, you may like to read https://psitsamumthing.com/i-am-calling-bullshit-on-the-whole-pregnancy-glow/